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April 18, 2009

The Paci Fairy Giveth and the Paci Fairy Taketh Away

-3 The Pacifier fairy 1 came last week for Eli's pacis.

Eli was, without a doubt, a true paci addict.  More than once, I've see him try to shove four into his mouth at a time. But I'm not sure who needed them more, him or me. 

In our house, once you hit your first birthday, your pacifiers live in the crib.  So no pacis in public but unlimited access during your nap and at bedtime.  A true junkie,  Eli never fought bedtime. 

For several months we've been discussing the Paci's Fairy imminent arrival.  But every time she was about to make an entrance, I would freak out.  Nap time for a 4 year old is an unheard of mommy luxury.  And bedtime was so easy.  Why give that up when orthodontics is already a fait accompli?

Family lore tells us that the Paci Fairy takes used binkys to newborn babies and leaves in their place a special big boy present.  Eli wanted a Nintendo DS. Mommy suggested something even more special and rare, like a red leapster.  After many days of negotiations, Eli agreed.  We left the pacis in a bowl on the kitchen table with a note listing his demand.

We spent the day engaged in physical activities designed to make children so tired that they fell asleep easily. That night, Eli went to bed sans pacis.  Cold turkey. 

That night the Paci Fairy brought a red leapster that she had bought cheap at a consignment sale.  (Unfortunately,at the time she only made sure it turned on, but never confirmed that it actually worked.  The Paci Fairy's belabored assistant and husband needed to make a late night Target run)

Eli received TWO leapsters; a red one and a working green one.  And overall, he's seemed satisfied with his trade.

He's asked twice about his pacis.  Once Eli saw a baby and informed the mom that she was using his hand-me-down pacifiers.4 And once, after a particularly hard day, he asked if he could trade his Leapster back for his pacis.  We asked but the Paci Fairy has a firm "no backsies" policy. 

To which Eli responded that he wanted to kick the Paci Fairy in the head. 5

So technically the Paci Fairy giveth a Leapster and taketh some used pacifiers. But really, she took away my youngest child's last vestiges of babyhood.  The pacifiers (and the nap) have gone the way of the crib, diapers and hooded towels.  It's a straight shot from here to college.

And she gave me, well I'd like to say she left me a big kid and the chance to improve my mothering skills but really, the bitch left me nothing. 6

She better keep her distance because, right about now, I'd like to kick her in the head too.

1) Known in these here parts as the Paci Fairy. 
2) He's four. I know, SuperNanny would be disgusted.
3)Third children know about these things.
4) The remarkably anal mom actually corrected Eli.  Karma, sweetheart. Karma. And that goes double for people selling broken red leapsters at consignment sales.
5) Really, I can't imagine where they learn this stuff.

6) I was hoping for at least an iphone.

Original DC Metro Moms post

When not dressing up as the Paci Fairy, Amy G. can be found admitting parental defeat at LeShallowGal and Secret Spineless Whine


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