My Son Wants to Celebrate Christmas. Um, okay, but we're Jewish.

Having grown up Jewish, I knew it was only a matter of time before one , or both, of my kids decided they no longer want to be Jewish. I expected this epiphany to occur in any given year right around November or December.  This is the year Son Two decided he's celebrating Christmas and isn't going to be Jewish.

Was his religious switch caused by deep theological introspection where my son has dug deep into his heart and found Jesus?  Nope. We're not whisking him to our Baptist's friends in Shreveport any time soon.   More like he's hoping we will dig deep into our wallet and buy him Christmas presents like the ones he keeps seeing advertised on TV and the ones his friends are telling him are on their Christmas wish lists.  He's just wishing he was Christian so he could be like his friends. Not be different. Feel like he belongs. But those are the deeper reasons he hasn't yet reached, right now he thinks he just wants Santa.

It is quite possible he believes Christian parents buy every single item they've seen advertised and then when they are done buying those, they bring out their children's list and speed dial Santa.  My son probably visualizes all of those presents being put under a Christmas Tree and the kids unwrapping gifts for hours.  Do I have psychic powers? Am I a mind reader?  Hell no. I grew up Jewish myself, I know this routine. I'd been there myself when I was around his age.  So last Sunday, is when the next phase of I'm Not Being Jewish began:

Son Two:  I don't want to go  to Sunday School. I don't want to be Jewish anymore. I want to be Christian and go to church.

Me: Okay. Well if you aren't going to go to our Jewish Sunday school and you want to go to church have you thought about what kind of church you wish to attend?

Son Two: I want to go to a Christian church like the kind all of my friends who aren't Jewish go to.

Me: Alright. How about St. Tims? Many of your friends are members there. It's a Catholic church.

Son  Two: Yes.  Sure. (Only he pronounces it like Shoe-er because he just does.)

Me: You'd better hurry then. I think Mass begins at 10 and it's 9:30 now. Go get your khaki's on and a collared shirt.  I'm going to quickly get a skirt and top on and then we can head out to Mass. (Note to the Catholics in the house, is it supposed to be spelled with a capital M or not?)

Son Two: Catholics don't get dressed up to go  to church. (Yes, my Christian friends I know there are more casual services, but work with me on this. Shhhh!)

Me: I think they usually do on Sunday morning. If you want to stick with jeans this morning, I can take you to Sunday school instead of Mass. Up to you, but let me know soon because I need to iron my skirt.

Son Two thinks about how much he hates to get dressed up engaging in a moment of quiet reflection: What time do we have to leave for Sunday school?

Me: 10:15.

Son Two: I'm going to Sunday school.

Me: Okay, I'll drive you over.

Now maybe you are wondering what I would have done if he had told me he still wanted to go to morning Mass. The answer is, I would have taken him. I have very fond memories of attending Christmas Eve (aka Erev Christmas) midnight mass in Brooklyn Heights with my friend Lulu and her family. Back in The Day, the service was in Latin and it didn't feel all that different from sitting in synagogue and listening to the prayers being read in Hebrew.  I want our children to understand the beliefs of their friends as well as their own.  I'm not opposed by any means for my children to learn about other faith communities.  In fact, I feel much more frustrated because it matters to me to learn about everyone else's beliefs and practices, yet the same courtesy isn't often reciprocated. In fact, if I had a chocolate gold coin for every time I heard, "Oh, Is it a Jewish holiday? I didn't know."  I could break the world record for the longest game of Dreidel.  Despite the fact that our son's school does try to address diversity issues by *winterizing" the end of the year parties, it still doesn't mean the classrooms are utterly holiday free, nor should they be really, so it did give son one the tools he was looking for...

Son Two came home yesterday with a card for me he made at School. "Merry Christmas, Love Son Two." I thanked him graciously for the card and told him our family is still observing Chanukah even if he has chosen not to.  The kids helped me take out the Menorah's. Son Two's expression changed completely. "Hey, when did we get this sports menorah?"

We'd had it for a while, but I think he forgot.  I asked with humor in my voice, "Does it bother you? You don't have to light that one if you would rather just stand to the side while the rest of us do the Chanukah thing. You know, since you are observing Christmas this year."

He met my eyes and he was grinning from ear to ear. "I'm going to light the menorah with you, but that doesn't mean I'm not celebrating it."  Later that night as I was tucking him in I explained to him that Chanukah and Christmas are not in competition with each other. That actually Christmas is a much holier day to Christians than the observance of a Jewish Festival like Chanukah is to Jews. Don't get me wrong, they are both important and meaningful, but differently so.

We talked about how the High Holidays are the biggies to Jews as is Passover and a couple of others too. I also told him that it isn't our place prevent Christians from observing their holiday and that it is actually sad that Christmas has become so commercialized. Christmas is a very holy holiday for Christians. Many people are upset the original meaning of holidays is becoming lost in the push for the perfect present instead of the original gifts of the holiday.   In a way, I explained, we are lucky not to be bombarded by television commercials urging us to find the perfect Purim gift and that we don't have Debbie Friedman blasting over us at Target all summer in anticipation of Rosh Hashanah in the fall.  I'd be cranky too if I had to listen to Klezmer Muzak for months on top of trying to get my holiday shopping done. No wonder some of my Christian friends tell me they lament it when Christmas finally arrives. Because by then they are all Christmassed out from the media push and can't even enjoy their own holiday. Oy Vey! 

Yes, I explained to my son, Christmas is a holiday which does includes gift giving traditions and being thoughtful of others and spending time with family but it's also deeply religious in it's origin. I explained to him about the Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men, the gold, the Myrrh and the Frankincense. (With the aside, that  while Frankincense does sound like Frankenstein it's different and definitely not a Mel Brooks film.)  Just because we're Jewish, doesn't mean my son shouldn't understand why Christmas is a holiday Christians celebrate or how it became a holiday. I don't want him to grow up thinking it's just about the presents and what Santa is bringing to his friends. I want him to understand it's a religious holiday, even if it isn't our religious holiday.

He considered this for a minute and then asked, "Can we get the Parkers a Jesus for their manger?" 

The Parkers* live across the street from us. They have a plastic Nativity set.  A couple of years ago I noticed it didn't have a Baby Jesus. Knowing that some people don't put out the Jesus until Christmas Eve or Day, I didn't give it much thought.  However, Christmas Eve and Christmas Day came and went and still no Baby Jesus. I wasn't sure exactly how I could easily work, "Hey Mrs. Parker, I noticed your Jesus is missing. What up with that?"  into a conversation.  So it remained a mystery until last year at the bus stop I was talking to another mom about the Sans Jesus Nativity scene across the street.  The mom told me the Baby Jesus had been stolen a few years ago.

Anyone know if Baby Jesus is sold separately?  We're getting one for the Parkers.

This is an original DC Metro Moms Post.

Devra can be found explaining lots of other stuff over at Parentopia.