Baby Dream, A 30 Second Love Affair
There's a song by the DC-area band Eddie From Ohio called 30 Second Love Affair that I can't get out of my head. It's about a man who sees a woman in the car next to him at a stoplight and immediately imagines her name, their courtship, their life together and their kids. Today I'm at a similar stoplight: it's day 29 of my cycle and my period is nowhere in sight.
I think there is only a slight chance I'm pregnant. My husband and I have been extraordinarily busy this month, and according to my mental calculations of lovin', the chances are slim. Although we are not using artificial contraception, we haven't yet started charting temps, peeing on the ovulation predictor or gunning for a baby in total earnest. Already the parents of two children age four and two, as every bystander tells me, we've got our hands full. And if we have conceived, there are no guarantees that the little one will stick around for the entire ten months - I've miscarried before. But there is just enough of a chance that I'm in the throes of a 30 second love affair with this maybe baby.
I think it's a girl. Her name's Sophia Rose. She's born on the first June evening the fireflies appear. She has dark brown curls like her father and full lips like mine. Unlike her gung-ho, act now-think later brother and sister, she is reserved and thoughtful. But like her siblings, she is affectionate and fiercely bonded to her family.
She's a good sleeper, tired from her hectic life of watching the older children play. But she's a distracted nurser, tearing her head from my breast and making me yowl, afraid of missing one second of the action. She walks early trying to keep up with two big kids, but talks late with two spokespersons fulfilling her every whim and gesture. She loves walks in the stroller along the creek near our home and amasses a collection of pine cones, leaves and acorns from our adventures.
Sophia's favorite subjects in school are science and literature. She can just as easily lose herself in the wonders of the earth as the constructs of character and plot. She makes friends easily but is deeply affected by the conflicts that arise in girl packs. Her innate sense of justice and compassion make middle and high school hard for her at times. When she begins college at a small liberal arts university in the Midwest, her confidence and social ease greatly improves.
Sophia falls in love many times, sometimes getting hurt but also learning that she is capable of causing pain as well. She didn't know her own strength. When she meets James in graduate school back in the DC area, she has the maturity and self-worth to realize that this love is special. They marry in a beautiful ceremony on New Year's Eve in the same church where Sophia received her First Communion.
Sophia and James's love of science lead them both to the classroom, where they realize fulfilling careers in education and research. They have two children in their thirties, and a surprise third child in their forties, a son they name after Sophia's dad. The family travels all over the country and has a passion for hiking and camping, a pastime that bewilders Sophia's mom but began with those early walks as a child.
Sophia continues to teach well into her seventies, mentoring and touching the lives of many. She is surrounded by friends and family, and lives a life of faith, health, peace and happiness.
This is my 30 second love affair at the stoplight that is waiting for my period. Even if the light turns green in the next couple days, I will never forget her.