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June 19, 2008

Day One-I Feel Like a Statistic

Laid_offThe front door opened. Startled I looked up to find my husband coming home from work early yesterday.  I was about to take a work related phone call so I just briefly asked him what was up. He perched himself on the edge of the kitchen counter and said, "It's done.  Over.  I got laid off."

Immediately, I had to grip the counter myself and keep from feeling as if my brain was doing a fade to black sort of thing.  If there wasn't already a baby growing inside me it would have felt as if my stomach was being kicked in. Pummeled.  I hear the words being calmly stated, "Two weeks severance...one month of insurance...", and my mind just reels.  How are we going to survive?  I feel like one of those brief profiles you read about in a story on the current toll of the U.S. economy being featured in Newsweek.

The writer of the article would includes bits about our peaceful townhouse community, the average household income and how with one toddler and a baby on the way we were already feeling the strain of this lousy economy and weak dollar.  Now this.  Now we join the ranks of so many others in this country and it is all a bit surreal.  Already we have heard the "You'll be fine. It will all work out." comments about a million times.  It's been under 24 hours and I already want to smack those who say, "Just think! Now he can find something completely new that he wants to do.  This is a blessing in disguise."  I can't help but grouse and ask myself sarcastically, "Oh. Really? Is is also a blessing in disguise that in a few weeks I will be an uninsured pregnant woman too?" 

Yes, we are luckier than some.  We have family that could help us out if we really needed it, though when my parents mentioned all the room in their Connecticut home I couldn't help but think of the real meaning there.  We would have had to lose our home to move in with them.  My mind cannot go there right now.  We are lucky to live an area where jobs are not scarce and we have many connections. It is odd that today is the day we have the gender determination sonogram as well.  I am struggling with this too.  I feel as if we have already let this kid down.  This moment is bittersweet.  I realize that for not just my peace of mind and sanity do I need to stay positive but also for my husband and child.  We will get through this.  We will weather this storm. We have to.

Somehow though, at this very point in time, it feels much scarier than when he left for Iraq with no return date given.

Original DC Metro Moms post.  Victoria blogs daily about motherhood, this new subject of a whole family being unemployed and her life as a freelance writer at The Mummy Chronicles

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