Always a Bridal Gown, Never Clutter?

Recently, whilst in the throes of a decluttering project, I came across my wedding dress packed away in a box. It rested atop a box full of Transformers from my husband's youth, and underneath a box of old coats.

I've gotten pretty good at making decisive decisions about my clutter. I'm even learning how to get rid of sentimental items. But the wedding dress threw me for a loop.

Unlike with the Transformers (nod along when the husband swears he's going to eBay them, and then throw them away when he forgets about them in six or seven years) and the box of coats (donate, donate, donate!), it seemed that I would be crossing a boundary by getting rid of the dress.

After all, I wore this dress on one of the most important days of my life. It is one of many symbols of my marriage. It is beautiful. It cost hundreds of dollars.

But...

I wore it exactly once. And I will never wear it again.

I wrote about my dilemma at my decluttering blog, The Junk Pyramid, and asked for opinions. I was surprised by the response–on both sides. (And that people cared if I kept or donated my wedding dress.) I posted a poll and the overwhelming majority of respondents said I should donate the dress.

To be honest, I was relieved to see the results. Although I didn't know it when I wrote the post, I mostly wanted to let someone else use it. I just needed some other people to tell me it was okay.

Because (1) I don't need it, (2) I'll never use it again, and (3) it's taking up a good amount of space. If that's not a classic description of clutter, I don't know what is.

And after all, I have more photographs of this dress than of any other item of clothing I have ever owned. It's not as if I will forget the day if the dress moves on.

I briefly considered trying to eBay, consign, or flat-out sell it, but the right thing to do seems to be to donate it. I was lucky enough to be able to afford a beautiful dress on my wedding day. Many are not.

One reader suggested two places I could donate my dress: Brides Against Breast Cancer and The Brides' Project.

My nine-year wedding anniversary is May 29. I plan to have given away my dress by then. Hopefully it will give some other happy bride the magical start to a wonderful marriage that it gave me.

Original DC Metro Moms Blog post.

Jean declutters at The Junk Pyramid and blogs at Stimeyland.

Comments

[yasmin]

That's such a great idea! Like you, I have my dress sitting in my closet just taking up room, but I don't have the will power to give it up yet...althought I've been married for over 10 years...I still don't know why I have such an emotional attachment to a dress that I'll never wear again.

[Michele]

This is great. I was lamenting the fact that I didnt have any reason to keep my gown (with two sons) and now I know what to do with it. Thanks!!

[Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck]

I think its a wonderful thing to do! And your dress is GORGEOUS.

[Keen]

Hmm...this post got me thinking. I'm in major decluttering mode and just found my wedding dress in a laundry bag on the closet floor. Thanks for the idea, though I've only been married five years, so I might need to think about it a little more.

[Nicole]

I think I will do the same-

My mom regretted donating her wedding dress after she had me- but really,

even to moms of daughters - they probably will want their own dress on their special day anyway. I know I did :)

[MamaBird/SurelyYouNest]

Oh my, be still my beating heart, you write a *decluttering* blog?! Headed over there pronto. Congrats on conquering sentimental detritus. I am incapable of that as yet (plenty of non-sentimental stuff to work through still!).

[Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah]

I been having the same dilemma about my wedding dress! I never even had it restored. I just keep hoping that someone will want it. For something. (My nine year anniversary is coming up this year too.)

Oh, and far as those transformers go - don't you have three boys? They will LOVE them.

If not, you know where I live. Ian digs the transformers.

[Lollie]

Don't get rid of it. I thought of doing so and my dauther threw a fit even though she's not usually sentimental like that and there's no way she could possible wear it because she's a lot taller, etc.

Recycling doesn't always mean getting rid of something. Don't think of it as a dress you wore once. Think of it as a dress you wore that is part of your family history. There are ways to use the dress that are not wearing it again.

You can have it re-styled for your daughter or daughter-in-law. You can use some of the fabric to make a a new garment (like a jacket) that can be worn by you or whomever. You can also use the fabric for your grandkids' nursery...see what I mean?

I've done lots of wedding dress re-dos like that. If you're interested let me know.

[catnip]

What an awesome way to donate the dress! And the transformers? Bbay them yourself - they're worth $$!

[Lynette {Radio}]

I still have my dress after almost 9 years of marriage (and I honestly wasn't all that crazy about it). Sad thing is, I still have my wedding dress from my *first* marriage. That one needs to GO. I have dreams of giving my daughter my dress to wear, but honestly, she won't want it. Maybe in another 9 years I can part with it and give it away.

[KC]

What a great thing to do.

I'm not at the point of being able to do that yet. Maybe when I reach my 9 year anniversary mark (we're up to 6)...

I'm psychologically weak.