Mulch Madness

As I held the $1,500 landscaping proposal in one hand and closed my gaping mouth with the other, a lightning bolt of determination shot through me.

"What kind of happy grass is this guy on? I can mulch my own damn flowerbeds!", I declared.

I rung up the local nursery and tried my best to smooth my charm over the fact that I had no idea how much mulch I was going to need to do this job myself.

"I'll be happy to help you. How much mulch would you like to order today?"

"Well, I have 5 flowerbeds...or garden areas...whatever you call them...but they are really big...not small. You know...they go all around the whole house."

It made total sense to me. I mean, I could SEE my gardens as I was saying the words. Such the vivid describer, I am.

"Ma'am?"

"Yes?"

"How many cubic yards of mulch would you like to order?"

What the hell? Was that geometry? Just hearing the word 'cubic' makes me sweat.

"Hmmmmm...I'd really have to get out there and measure it to tell you hard figures and since the kids swiped my yard stick to play Harry Potter last summer, I just don't have any way to make that happen."

Long pause as I look up cubic yards on Wikipedia.

"How many cubic feet...or whatever...are in a truckload?"

"10."

"That sounds perfect. I'll take one of those."

Today my order arrived.

Ummmm, whoops.
Anybody need any mulch?

(And, no, he did not appreciate the picture.)

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You can find Kimberly in Petroville where she lives and writes and now mulches daily.

This is an original DC Metro Moms Post.