Mr. Spock called. He wants his logic back.

I have a problem with faulty logic.  Look, I don't know if that is some kind of technical name for it, but all I can say is there are certain times when I get a thought going in my head and that thought just takes on a life of it's own, I draw conclusions based upon the thought and it ends up I was utterly misdirected.   Despite all evidence to the contrary, which could lead me down another direction far more logical, I continued on the path of idiocy I established for myself and the faulty logic train won't stop until I meet up with a wall of common sense.  Usually this happens when I begin to act on my thoughts and at some point I get a piece of information that makes me realize I've been wrong all along.  And peeps, it is damn embarrassing.

When I hit that informational wall, often it is met with my exclamation of "Dumbass!"  Directed at myself, as I know I am the origin of the dumbassery because it circles right back to my faulty logic process.  Which, let me remind you, once it motion, is difficult for me to stop.   The problem isn't merely my faulty logic, because thankfully it doesn't happen often.  The larger problem is once I have begun this trip down Dumbass Lane?  I hand other people my road map and feel I must explain my journey, and even invite them to ride with me. The people to whom I encounter along my way?  Maybe they are just being kind to me and secretly thinking "Dumbass!" too. Now that you know this little tidbit about me, why don't I hand everyone here a map from my latest trip on the Faulty Logic Freeway and we can exit on Dumbass memory lane together.  Buckle your seatbelts, we're in for a bumpy ride...

I Am Bossy held a contest.  I entered.  Now, when you follow that link and read the page pay close

attention to the prizes.  Are you paying attention?

PAY ATTENTION!  Look at the pictures. DO IT!  (I sound so Bossy!)

Others entered Bossy's contest too.  Then something extraordinary happened to me.

I was one of the winners!  Sure, Bossy mentioned prizes would be sent.  She even posted pictures of the prizes. Yes, I gave her my address.  But remember, this post is about faulty logic, not about faulty actions. I did all the right things. I just wasn't in my right mind.  But if you paid attention to what I wrote earlier in this post, you won't be surprised with what happened next.  Here, just read my email to Bossy, think of it as your road map...

Dear Georgia,

OH GOOD G-D!  We almost had an incident here!  The apples arrived and my brain was not in gear.  This caused a stream of faulty logic which went like this...

I couldn't figure out why someone would send us apple candles.  So I get it in my head that maybe my husband purchased them on Ebay for this General's retirement ceremony he is planning. (I dunno, sometimes people like to do weird shit when they retire. So some kind of inside joke featuring apple candles was not as far a reach as it appears.)  When The Huz gets home I ask him about why he purchased apple candles on Ebay and what is the General going to use them for?  He of course looks at me like I am totally high.  Which then takes him to the box and he asks "Who sends a box without a name on the return address?"  Then he asks me if anyone is trying to send me a hint as in "How do you like them apples?" No, I explain, I don't have any angry apple sending readers, at least none known to me. Until now, I guess.

Then it occurs to me to do a reverse address look up and as soon as I see the name, I realize what has happened here.  THESE ARE PRIZEWINNING POMMES!

The Huz says he was about 3 seconds away from taking it to work and having it detonated. (Silly military man that he is, that is not how you light candles!)

Then the next thing I share with him is "Oh hey! I won those!" and he says "What the hell kind of contest has that as a prize?' Followed by his opinion  of "Too bad didn't you win those last week right before our garage sale."

Yeah, well.

So I show him your page with all of the apparition entries and he falls in love with me all over again.  It also helped that the apples are from the year we got married.

Awwwww!

XXOO,

Devra

Certainly I am not the only person who has gone down the Faulty Logic Freeway and knows it is one hell of a ride?  Please give me a cyber pat on the shoulder and offer a "There there dumbshit Devra!"