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I crave privacy like I crave creamy chocolate or a glass of dry red wine. My kids don't understand this. Why should they? Kids are innately social creatures who want to be close to mama and my kids are no exception.
Being adopted does not mean they are excluded from separation anxiety, the typical toddler tantrums or even the normal discipline issues. In fact, my kids are completely normal in those aspects. And, they are completely normal when in comes to driving me batty.
I'm flailing, struggling, trying to find what works best for my son...and it's not coming easily for me. He has always been a challenge but as he grows older his issues become more difficult to digest and it seems like some days I look into the eyes and soul of someone completely different. Some days I don't even know who he is.
My son's issues are multifaceted...compounded by medical, neurological, and emotional trauma. Combined, those things make for an extremely interesting child. He is loving and playful, sweet and kind. And seconds later he can stare you down like you were never there.
And that hurts like hell.
We've been working with everyone; psychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, school, social workers, etc. to come up with a solution, behaviorally and medically and nothing is right yet. He does not react well to the stimulants for his ADHD because of his neurological damage and this leads me to believe that he may, in fact, have the Bi-Polar tendencies that I have been seeing for almost two years.
My oldest son turns six this weekend and he is getting a new bike for his birthday. It is nothing special...just a run of the mill 20- inch Schwinn with adapted training wheels because he will probably need another summer or two to master riding a two-wheeler.
As a child with special needs he needs a little more time to learn what the "average" kid does in a flash. He needs a little more patience from us and his peers (who don't always give it) to accomplish tasks. But, he still thrives for the independence that comes with growing up.
Last year I mocked Katie Holmes for allowing her two-year-old daughter to drink from a bottle. Yes, can you believe that? A bottle?
And last night as I lay in bed, my 16-month-old son snuggled in between me and my husband, drinking his milk at 2 a.m. (out of a bottle, nonetheless), I hoped that she forgave me.
Erma Bombeck once wrote in her column: Most
women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social
pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, Nearly 100,000 women will
become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers
of handicapped children are chosen?
But what she failed to mention is that God chooses a father for those children as well.
Her column goes on to state that a mother of a handicapped (or in this generation, a special needs) child must have patience...but not so much that she would drown in self pity. She must be independent in order to teach her child to live in her world. She must have already sown her oats and been selfish enough for a lifetime...but also know when to separate herself from her child and be able to take a break.
Whew, gosh. That is probably one of the hardest things I have ever said. It is almost like admitting I am a failure as a mom.
I constantly ask myself what I did wrong. Did I do this to him or did he "come" this way? Have I just not broken down his barriers yet?
I remember the first time he hit me so clearly.
I consider myself a veteran traveler. My husband certainly is
one. However, when it comes to traveling with children we are certainly
amateurs. Trying to lug two bags, a stroller, two car seats, a diaper bag, two
backpacks, and juggle two children through an airport is difficult.
Our yearly trip to
It hadn’t. So, a Spirit Air representative assisted me in booking our flight.
There's truth in that there statement.
Some moms wait years, some decades. We waited over two years for our second son to join our family and my are we blessed.
I used to talk with friends at lunch about how I was preparing myself for the "worst"...reading up on FAS, sensory issues, making sure I baby-proofed everything and they thought I was crazy.
They told me that that having children was supposed to be easy. That attachment and bonding came so naturally that there was no need to work on it, that children were resilient and that they would just blend right into our lives.
Ever notice that some movies are just made for girls? At our age they are typically called "Chick Flicks". But, when girls are five what are they supposed to call them? Ah, Princess Movies...that way boys won't dare come near.
But what happens when a boy does like those Princess movies? Do you steer him clear? Not allow him those fantasies? And what happens when a girl wants to watch Cars or Star Wars; when she wants to watch a "guy" movie?
In the past few weeks AJ and I have been hunkering down after school building with Legos, playing with his car garage (like the one we got him last year for Christmas), and watching Disney movies.
There are several new movies he has found that he especially likes…all Disney, of course. He is fascinated by Peter Pan because he can fly and because of the sword fighting. He loves to sing with the Lost Boys (and has no idea they are self-imposed orphans) and stands on the couch mimicking Peter as he flies across the ocean.
As gunmen took hostages and killed almost 90 people in Mumbai, India I watched in horror like the rest of the country. They targeted luxury hotels, train stations, and a hospital. What I write here can certainly not do justice for what the news-stations are covering on Prime-Time nor can my words even begin to describe the images seen on the Internet.
What I can do is tell you how scared my family is right now. You see, my brother and his wife are stationed in Mumbai with the Consulate/State Department.
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