Chicago Moms Blog

Three Years

Although my little man is five years old (and full of mischief) he has only been in our family for three years, as we adopted him from Arkhangelsk, Russia in July of 2005. He had just turned two, just learned how to walk, and according to the orphanage director, just learned how to smile. After our first visit he learned that there was finally something to be happy for.

We recently had our three year and final post placement report with our social worker and it was completely anti-climactic. I expected it to be a big event and bring some sort of closure to AJ's adoption.

It didn't.

Instead, it was more of a check-up on him and our home. But what it did do was allow me to reminisce about our trip to Russia to celebrate his adoption and bring him home. Our trip was not necessarily a vacation but it was certainly an adventure.

Is it Fortune or Fame?

My hubby and I have been going around in circles about blogging for about two months now. He questions whether or not blogging is a "real job" or if it is just a hobby for me. Personally, I think it started as a hobby but because I enjoyed doing it so much it turned into something I wanted to do...I wanted to accomplish.

As a stay at home mom I needed something to occupy by brain and all the television or novels in the world just did not cut it. I needed some adult interaction (and play dates just don't work), I needed to use my brain (and books didn't make me think), and I wanted to contribute to the house hold in some way.

Sex Addiction

To preface, this is not a dirty post. If you remember, I don't write about sex.

However, I recently saw the Blockbuster Sex and the City movie and am now completely addicted to Sex...and the City, that is.

I am currently flashing back to 1999 on WGN, Tivo style, watching Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha dress in outfits I could never afford, live seemingly frivolous and extravagant lives, and earn far more money than I could ever dream.

I'm addicted to watching their lives because to me it is such pure fantasy. They are always dressed in couture or shopping for Manolos or Jimmy Choos. (I throw on an Old Navy Tee and Crocs.) They meet up nightly for Cosmopolitans at their favorite bar. (I pour a glass of red wine before I

Shoo Fly Don't Bother Him

My son has some pretty strange fears. For some they would be considered irrational and downright mad but for him they are pretty well justified. In fact, we just go with the flow for most of them; we know why he is frightened but there are a few that we just don't understand because he absolutely loves scary things like spiders, ghosts, and caves.

Lesson's Learned,

As a parent I don't think we ever truly know our children. I mean, how could we? We aren't in their heads or thinking their thoughts, right?

Case in point; my son wanted desperately to go to a hotel water park for his birthday so we gave him the choice of a birthday party or the hotel water park with family. He chose the water park. Fine with me...no big presents, no big party to clean for, no big hoopla, right?

I Don't Talk About Sex

When I first began blogging I set for rules for myself; I don't badmouth my family, I don't swear unless it is absolutely necessary, and I don't talk about sex.

I will, however, share health information so that I can help other women. I write candidly about infertility and my feelings about not being able to have a biological child. I write about my fear of colon cancer and I already wrote about first endoscopy last year. I write about my son's health issues, behavioral challenges, and emotional trauma almost every day. I even write about what it means, on an emotional level, to be an adoptive mother.

But I don't talk about sex.

NBC, I am a Mom, not a Non-Mom

"The non-mom mom, Grandparent, stepmom, or mom to adopted children, each one raising and loving a child. A priceless gift for everybody."

To even think that this was on the Internet is disgusting. I personally did not see it or hear it (mainly because I was spending time with my son on Friday)  but I have seen the backlash against NBC via the adoption channels. It has since been changed because the sponsor of America's Favorite Mom, Teleflora examined their choice of words and saw how "how this may have been offensive to moms who have adopted children".

The "Non-Mom" category still focuses on "grandparent, neighbor, step mom, or mom to adopted or foster children, each one raising and loving a child" but, in my opinion, NBC is really missing the boat here because they are forgetting one integral piece; the birth mother.                                  

I am an adoptive mom, Ahem, MOM, of one very special little boy from Russia and my husband and I are in the process of adopting our second son from Guatemala. I have never in my course of motherhood NOT considered myself a mother because I did not physically give birth to my son.

What's Your Wedding Pet Peeve?

Okay, so I am certainly no Martha Stewart, Emily Post, or Erma Bombeck but I have certainly attended my fair share of weddings, as I am sure all of you ladies who read this site have. However, I have only been in my wedding and my best friend's wedding so formal wedding etiquette is sometimes a bit foreign to me. In fact, my wedding was the first wedding in which I ever took part.

I have been to some of the most lavish weddings I have ever seen, some down-home weddings in which we actually had to serve ourselves because the bartenders were too lazy, a few bridezilla weddings, and several weddings that I only remember bits and pieces of.

The common theme in every wedding though, is that every bride planned her wedding to suit her taste and her budget and every bride made sure that her wedding pet peeve did not interfere with her day.

Some brides did not allow children, a few refused to allow the photographer to take posed photos or

Salutations

Since completing our adoption back in July of 2005 our family life has managed to maintain a state of chaos. It is certainly not what we would have chosen, as Eric and I tend to be homebodies and like to spend quiet evenings relaxing on the couch, drinking in the warm summer air, or cuddling up to the fire.

Okay, who am I kidding? We watch the boob tube like the rest of you do.

Nonetheless, our lives, as mundane as they were, were catapulted into parenthood the moment we let a Russian toddler step into our home.

We thought we had baby-proofed.
We hadn't.
We thought we had food he would like.
We didn't.
We thought we were ready to be parents of an institutionalized child.

We were not.

Heaven in a Ray of Sunshine and Walnut Floors

This morning I awoke to sunshine for the first time in weeks, or so it seems. I took my coffee outside on my parent's front porch while AJ flew his homemade kite (a fabulous invention made out of a plastic bag, a string, and a Happy Meal Toy). We both soaked in the rays and took absolute joy in the warmth of heaven.

After a long, hard, Chicago winter the sunshine was finally pure bliss. But even better is the anticipation of the new Brazilian Walnut flooring that will be installed as early as tomorrow.

This week has been crazy, to say the least, and I have gotten nothing done except deal with contractors and breathe plaster dust from a home built back in 1917. But, although it has been harried I do see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I am ecstatic to see walls come