Chicago Moms Blog

Dressing The Bumps And Bruises

The hubs and I are attending the Wings Of Hope Benefit next Friday at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum in honor of the American Epilepsy Outreach Foundation. The E word. Not something very popular or comfortable to talk about, but Epilepsy is real and more common than you may know. We went through the darkest of times when our son was diagnosed just over 4 years ago. Thankfully and miraculously, our son is seizure-free and medication-free now, and we are honored to wear Noah's success as a badge and share his story, one that continues to bring hope to parents wishing the same for their child. This benefit is sure to be emotional and uplifting and will not only raise awareness (with special speaker Hunter Tylo and People Magazine in attendance), but from the proceeds will also provide educational initiatives and support programs to those living with Epilepsy. And this event also has this preggy Mama wondering just what am I going to wear?

Extremely honored to be able to attend such a special night, I want to look my best. I am the face of a mother that has been through watching her child have 200 seizures a day. I saw him drift away before my very eyes and drift back and drift away again. And now I have him back for good. I want to show everyone what a survivor looks like. I didn't end up a haggardly mess rocking myself in a corner (as I seriously thought just might happen.) I made it. I'm not saying that I'm totally together, but I think I have been able to move on with life. And even if we still had the seizures as part of our everyday, we would still go on living. Life- it has this incredible ability to keep going on with or without us.

Not So Sound?

I was approached by one of those 3D ultrasound places to come in for a little "look see" of the new babe. I admit that at first I was a little hesitant about it- would I want to promote something like an ultrasound for entertainment purposes? Surely if it could replace the medical ultrasound, I'd consider, but no- it's just for a family keepsake. And so, I'm just not so sure.

I have had the heebie jeebies about it ever since Tom & Katie bought their own home ultrasound machine. How much ultrasound exposure is truly okay?

I started to dig around on the Internet about it, and I know that you can probably come up with anything to support your conspiracies online, but some things I am finding are making me think twice or thrice about it all.

You see, when I was pregnant with my first child, we had an ultrasound around 8 weeks to determine his due date. Then we had the standard 20 week ultrasound and during this one they couldn't get a good

An IUD horror story with a happy ending

December 31, 2004: I wake up in a hospital room at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. I'd had emergency laparoscopic surgery the night before to remove an IUD that had been inserted incorrectly (causing me to scream and cry in pain). The copper coil had perforated my uterus and come to rest behind my kidney. The doctors and midwives at the downtown OB/GYN practice realized their mistake immediately and rolled me--in a wheelchair and cradling my baby--through the snow to the nearby hospital to have the device removed.

So there I was, hazy from the general anesthesia, gazing at the 6 week old daughter resting next to my hospital bed. There was a release form taped to her bassinet saying that the nurses could not in any way assist in her care. Translation? Even though I was aching with pain, I'd have to get up, change her diaper and figure out a comfortable breastfeeding position.

Needless to say, New Year's Eve was no party for me that year. I'd just finished healing from a C-section and now I was recovering from my second abdominal surgery in as many months. I seethed, imagining myself dialing one of those medical injury law practices I'd seen advertised during during Oprah's commercial breaks. I was ready to sue, but when the OB who'd messed up me called me at home to apologize, I decided I'd be better off putting aside my anger and moving on. I didn't feel like I was permanently damaged--the doctors assured me my fertility wasn't in jeopardy--so I went on the mini pill and went on with my life.

Fast forward three years and change. I'd successfully conceived and delivered my second child (a VBAC with a different provider, at a different hospital), and for reasons I probably don't need to share here, I was done with hormonal birth control.

My Business Of Giving Birth

Last October I posted about how the controversial birth documentary The Business of Being Born had touched my (not pregnant at the time) heart. Now that I am pregnant with my fourth child, the first call I made was to a home birth midwife- I had grand plans for a home birth. But, after hubby and I discussed our finances and the fact that I've had three peaceful hospital births including the last one that was completely natural, quiet, with my birth plan followed to every last letter, I think we might be going the hospital route again. (We have nice insurance.) Among other budget strains, our son Noah needs glasses (not covered by insurance) and a pricey eye surgery. So it seems my tune has dramatically changed. 

I think it's important for women to know you can have a natural, gentle, and peaceful hospital birth.
If money weren't an option, YES!, I would definitely be preparing for a home birth. It is something I would like. I have very easy pregnancies, labors, & delivery. I love birthing naturally and without medication or intervention. But, since I have such quick deliveries and an easy time, when I really think about things,  it doesn't make much difference to me under which roof this baby comes out.

RECAP! Coping With Illness While Caring For Family

RECAP!

We are the sandwich generation.  It's not that we have a great affinity for peanut butter and jelly, although our kids do, but we are the generation that will probably be simultaneously caring for our parents and our children.

We were older than our parents were when we started our families.  As a consequence, many of us have small children and parents with health problems.  Some of us may even be coping with health problems of our own.

So how do we balance all of this caretaking with our own personal needs and goals?  How do we retain our identities as women, not just mothers and daughters, when the stresses of a serious or chronic health condition are added to the already overloaded burdens we carry?  The women of the Silicon Valley, Chicago, New York, and D.C. Metro Moms Blogs discussed this very issue.

Silicon Valley Moms Blog

• Coping With Chronic Pain - Two Years And Counting
• Kids With Disorders - Moms In The Closet
• They Won't Be Around Forever......
• Life With Diabetes Age 11, 9 Months
• What We Don't Talk About
• 222 Potential Bone Marrow Donors
• Looking For Zebras
• The Long-Term Legacy Of Illness
• Little Boys To The Rescue

DC Metro Moms Blog

• When Mom Is Sick, Everything Changes
• How Do You Ever Cope When It's Mom?
• I'm Not So Different
• Is A Condition An Illness?

Chicago Moms Blog

• Doctor Recommended Costco
• Coping With The Unknown
• Giving Medicine To A Stubborn Child
• When The Mama Cat Comes Out

New York City Moms Blog

• LAM - A Little Known Disease
• Sandwich Generation

Doctor recommended Costco

I have a chronic health condition (never say disease), but I don't write much about it because I'm in denial fine, as long as I am medicated. Given that we have employer-sponsored health care, you'd think that staying medicated wouldn't be a problem, and technically it's not, unless you consider that one of my prescriptions costs well over $2000 annually when I get it through my provider's mail order pharmacy program. When I complained to my doctor, he recommended I do some comparison shopping at Costco.

Costco? The warehouse superstore with prices so low that even a thrifty gal like me feels compelled to spend money? Costco of the $15 birthday cake that feeds 400 people? The place I can fill up on food samples while I wait for my drugs? Okay.

So I stopped over at the Costco pharmacy and checked out the prices. Unbelievable. 

Coping with the Unknown

Coping with illness, either yours or a loved one's, is hard enough when you know what you are facing.  But when the hardship you are fighting won't show its face and be named, it is a whole other battle.  So many women have stories like this, but here is bit of mine.

It was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving 2003 when my husband and I went in for our 20wk. ultrasound with our first child.  Our anticipation and excitement was burst like a balloon when we were told that there were significant issues with the baby including a diaphragmatic hernia and we should consider termination.  This wasn't an option for us so we started to research other potential treatments on our own.  Tragically, when our son was born at 41weeks, his problems were more severe than we had anticipated and no one was able to help him. We had him for three days and then he went to be with Jesus.  But this was not the end of our battle.  It was really only the beginning of the testing and endless consults to try and figure out what happened to my little boy. We got very mixed messages.  "It was random."  "It is genetic."  "Get pregnant right away."  "Never have children."  What is a grieving mama supposed to do?      

Giving Medicine to a Stubborn Child

My daughter, Eva, won't take any medicine -- ever.  I can't remember when her aversion to medicine began.  Today, at the "ripe" old age of almost six, she has developed a terrible anxiety about it.  Indeed, the mere suggestion that she take medicine makes her throw up. Really.  Just the other day, she was up all night screaming in pain that her ear hurt.  I begged her to take some Tylenol.  I tried to reason with her.  "Eva, don't you know that just a few seconds of something yucky would would give you hours and hours of  feeling better?"   She started crying even harder and protested so much that she threw up.

The last time she needed antibiotics, Gadget Man, Eva, and I were so traumatized by our attempts to get her to take it, that our doctor assured us that, next time, she would be able to get a shot of Rocephin instead.  Well, that next time is here.  Eva has pink eye, tonsilitis, and an ear infection.  However, the doctor's office does not keep the antibiotic shot in the office.  If we want to get the shot, we have to go to the emergency room!

When The Mama Cat Comes Out

I'm a non-confrontational type of gal. More likely to give in to someone rather than assert my own opinion if the situation isn't that important. But when it comes to my kids, watch out. The Mama Cat will get you.

This warning is mainly for doctors, and in my seven years as a Mother, I've had to claw and gobble up a few. And then spit them right back out. When my first son was very young, he went from being a normal, happy little toddler to having seizures constantly day & night. What was almost more frightening was the feeling that we were all alone to come up with our own treatment and diagnosis since our doctors didn't know what to do. Their only suggestion was meds and more meds. In some cases this might help, but in our case it only made him worse. Oh, and his neurologist told us that he may end up in an institution!

60% of women who have abortions have children: One fact to contemplate on the Roe V. Wade anniversary

Yes, you read that header correctly. According to a report out by the Guttmacher Institute, 60% of women who have had an abortion already have children.

The majority of U.S. women who have abortions (61%) have children. This exploratory study analyzes qualitative information from 38 women obtaining abortions to examine how issues of motherhood influenced their decisions to terminate their pregnancies. Women in the sample had abortions because of the material responsibilities of motherhood, such as the care for their existing children, as well as the more abstract expectations of parenting, such as the desire to provide children with a good home. The women believed that children were entitled to a stable and loving family, financial security, and a high level of care and attention. One fourth of the women had considered adoption but regarded it as being emotionally distressing. The findings demonstrate reasons why women have abortions throughout their reproductive life spans and that their decisions to terminate pregnancies are often influenced by the desire to be a good parent.