Chicago Moms Blog

Why Yes, I AM Dependent on Modern Technology

I never thought of myself as overly dependent on modern technology. In fact, as I prepare to birth my third child, sometimes technology feels like my mortal enemy. Planning for a natural childbirth involves so much strategizing on how to avoid the use of electronics, modern drugs and modern-day protocols.

But a 7-hour power outage -- and its aftermath -- showed me just how much hubris was involved every time I turned up my nose at folks who use air conditioning more than I do or drive their cars more than I drive mine. Really, the difference between me and someone who relies on modern technology a little more than I do is much smaller than the difference between me and someone -- like my hero Laura Ingalls Wilder or your average Third-World family in poverty -- with no electricity or running water.

Ten Reasons Why Summer Can Stay Lost

Summer misery finally made a humid, warm, sweaty showing today, three full weeks into this unseasonably chilly June. Maybe it's the 37 weeks of pregnancy talking, but I realized today that I would be happy if we had cool, rainy weather ALL summer.

Ten reasons why this mom wouldn't miss a "real" summer:

1) Can count the times I've had to put sunscreen on the kids with one hand. (OK, I know they say you are supposed to apply it on cloudy days too. So call CPS on me.)

2) Ditto packing sun hats and drinks for the kids. When no one's sweating, it's not inhumane to say, "You can wait until we get to the drinking fountain."

3) Pregnant, pregnant, soooo pregnant. Need I say more? I don't need to add sweaty and chafing to my list of physical complaints right now.

Celina Sotomayor: Mom Hero

As Sonia Sotomayor stands in the national spotlight, ready to take on the tough questions in confirmation hearings and -- most likely -- join the Supreme Court, I see a successful woman and role model.

Her mother.

Celina Sotomayor, the widow who raised her kids from the depths of poverty to the stature of a judge and a doctor. Who worked as a nurse in a methadone clinic and other jobs on the side to send her kids to private school when the local public schools would have guaranteed failure.

Would You Send Your Kids to a Virtual School?

While up in Wisconsin for a fantastic vacation last week, I read an article about Madison-area school districts offering virtual classes for kids. It made me wonder: Would I ever consider sending my offspring to a virtual school?

My cousin is homeschooling her kids through an online program, and they seem to be progressing just fine. They go to homeschool meet-ups and play events, so it's not as if they're being totally socially isolated. Yet, I harbor serious concerns about the idea. If my kids were in a regular classroom, I would want their computer time limited in favor of interactive, tactile classroom experiences. So why would I want the computer to be my kids' primary learning interface at home? Besides, I must admit that I cannot wait to get my 5-year-old out of my hair for six hours a day come fall -- if they were schooling from home, I'd still be directly responsible for her 24/7.

And yet, I love the idea of a geographically flexible program that kids can do at their own pace, like many Chicago kids are doing through Chicago Virtual Charter. My child is an unusually advanced reader, and I don't relish the idea of her sitting there swinging her feet while other kids stumble through whatever they're reading for "Dick and Jane" these days.

Birthday Parties: The Ultimate in Viral Marketing

My daughter celebrated her 5th birthday this weekend, and for the first time I realized how lucky toy manufacturers are that we parents conduct these free viral marketing events for them.

I always thought of my kiddie events as marketing-free -- we choose non-commercial themes (this year it was "butterflies") and have our parties at home. OK, I did use the goody bags to share my love of clearance sales at The Children's Place, but can I help it that the store was practically giving away butterfly headbands, hair ties and flip-flops?

Where Did Mr. and Mrs. Blago Go Wrong?

When the Chicago Sun-Times ran a childhood portrait of brothers Rod and Rob Blagojevich recently, it got me thinking: What did their parents do wrong, anyway? In every profile I have read of our ex-governor, they sounded like a nice, hardworking immigrant family. How do you produce a couple of kids that excel in clean-cut pursuits like high school basketball and work to put themselves through school, and yet also allegedly turn out to be world-class liars and creeps?

(I also wondered who on Earth would name their two sons such similar names as Rod and Rob -- but Wikipedia says that Rod's real first name is Milorad, so that explains that.)

Did the Blagojovich parents set some kind of example that success mattered more than integrity? Did they use the kind of language heard on those tapes around the dinner table?

My Boobs Are Not the Man, and the Case for Breastfeeding Still Stands

With an inflammatory title but some surprisingly common-sense conclusions, "The Case Against Breastfeeding" in this month's Atlantic has a lot of women talking.

Author Hanna Rosin actually reads the medical literature and finds that the parenting media has heavily overstated the medical benefits of breastfeeding. She goes on to point out everything that is wrong with such misinformation -- from making women who can't breastfeed feel like failures to leading women to make life-changing and financially difficult decisions based on an exaggerated view of breastfeeding's scientific benefits.

It kind of reminds me of some reading I've been doing lately about whether it's really so dangerous to have a drink or two while pregnant. I share Rosin's view that women deserve real, undistorted information on which to base our decisions.

So why does she piss me off so much? Lots of reasons.

Joaquin Is Somebody's Son Too

There are certain moments in this mom's life when I realize how much my perception is altered by being someone's mother. This week it happened when I watched Ben Stiller's (admittedly perfectly played) impression of the new, glaze-eyed Joaquin Phoenix. Then I watched the original event on Letterman.

Sure, I laughed a couple times during both, but my overwhelming reaction was nausea.

I suppose seeing people out of their mind on drugs or alcohol has always made my skin crawl. I even felt creepy watching the famous "kid loopy after the dentist video." Maybe it's because I've seen enough loved ones in similar states, and any humor that may be found in a videotaped white-out is strikingly absent when you see the performance live.

Hollywood's Breast Celeb

I love stories of heroic boobs. Like the mom who breastfed her preschooler in addition to her baby to keep them while stranded in a snowstorm.

But last night I got a new breastfeeding heroine: Salma Hayek. I'm feeling well-disposed toward ABC's Nightline at the moment, too.

Before I post the link, though, I should warn you that this Nightline segment contains some upsetting footage of a baby dying of tetanus.

Check out this video of Hayek breastfeeding a sick baby in Sierra Leone (it's toward the end of the story). I love that she did this -- it's a total Grapes of Wrath moment -- and I love that ABC actually showed it in a world where some people think the sight of nursing is too scandalous even for the Internet.

And speaking of breastfeeding, one of the things that came up in Nightline's report is that mothers in Sierra Leone don't do it much, because their husbands discourage it. Turns out the local belief is that you can't knock boots with a lactating woman.

The Most Important Job in the World That Is Worth $0

If you are a stay-at-home mother, you have heard this comment a million times: "You're doing the most important job in the world."

That assurance always rubs me a little raw. I know my job is important. Telling me so assumes that I have an inferiority complex about my role at this point in my life. If you met President Obama or the CEO of a major corporation, would you assure them that their jobs are very important?

Recently I read two things that helped me appreciate how truly undervalued parenting is in modern society. One is an expose on fraud and loopholes in the Welfare to Work program in Chicago's neighbor to the north -- Wisconsin. The other is a new report on the low quality of childhood in modern society, a British Christian group's indictment of "the belief among adults that the prime duty of the individual is to make the most of their own life, rather than contribute to the good of others."