I don't necessarily want to be remembered as the girl who threw up at Google but that is exactly what happened.
I was invited to the Chicago Google office for the "Mother's Know Tech" event that was held a few weeks ago. I, along with three other fellow Chicago Mom's Blog contributors (Stephanie, Sara & MJ) were invited to attend this event to represent "tech savvy" mom's. What they and the 100+ advertisers and marketers don't know is what I went through in the middle of the presentation.
Now, I generally vomit in the privacy of my own home. It just works out that way. However, there has been the occasional blips in the system; once at a movie theater, once in my mother-in-law's backyard and once in the bathroom of a college apartment but that was a lifetime ago.
I digress. I'm at the Google Chicago office with all of these fabulous people. I can't believe I'm here! Little old me, I think to myself. We take our places in the front row of the audience, which consists of the advertisers and marketers. Things are moving along swimmingly when all of the sudden, uh oh, that "feeling". The "sensation". I start sweating. My thoughts are racing. I'm fanning myself with my notebook. Panic mode, then planning mode. How will I make my departure? It has to be quick and swift and fool-proof. It has to be...NOW. I turn toward MJ and say, "I'll be back." I jump out of my chair and glide past the speaker and out of the room. The first person I see, I say, "bathroom" through my hand that is now cupped over my mouth. Dear God, pleeeease don't let this happen at Google. Not here, not at GOOGLE! After two gags, I find myself in front of the women's restroom. Like it or not, it was coming. Into the stall...I made it! Praise the Lord, I...I...almost made it. Oh no. Oh God. It's on my pants! The vomit is on my pants! I'm standing there, hunched over thinking that I will have to stay in this stall for the rest of the day until I can quietly sneak out to never be heard from again. The tears are welling up in my eyes. This is unbelievable. I have looked forward to this day for over a month and my stupid body decides to go and ruin it for me. What have I done to deserve this cruel treatment?
Ok, I suck it up. I have to. My purse and belongings are back in that room. I must recruit help. Someone enters the restroom. "Excuse me?" I say in a small voice. "Yes?" comes the answer. "I need help. I just got sick here in your lovely Google restroom and I need some help." "Ok?" says the voice from the outside. "Can I get a big shirt or something?" I say. "I'll be right back, let me see what I can find for you." Says the angelic voice from beyond. My guardian angel will save me! I think to myself. The woman with the voice re-enters the restroom along with another person. "Are you alright in there?" Says the second voice. "Yes, I'm ok. I need you to get my belongings from that room." I say. "I also need you to get Jennifer." She needs to know what's going on, what big mess I've made of myself. I can not sit up on a pedestal in front of all of these people reeking of vomit. I throw on my XL Google t-shirt and Jennifer enters the restroom. "I'm sorry, Jennifer, I need to go home." "I've made a complete mess of myself." Jennifer is so sweet and helpful, she offers to take me to her home to get a change of clothes, if I felt well enough to stay, that is.
After a number of minutes of feeling embarrassed and helpless and sick, I try to make a rational decision. I have been invited to this event, something that I've been looking forward to. Something that I feel could make a difference for women and mom's everywhere. I really don't want to leave. Jennifer also suggests that we are right near Michigan Ave., the magnificent mile. An idea sparks in my head. Gap. I could go to Gap. Jennifer prints up a map for me and tells me I have just enough time if I want to go there, get a change of clothes and come back. I could still make it!
I slither out of the restroom, into the elevator and through the lobby. I hop into the first cab that I see and minutes later, there I am, in front of Gap. I run inside and find a pair of brown Capris closest to the ones that I was currently wearing. I give the Gap employee the Reader's Digest version of what just happened to me and they agree to let me change into my new pants in the store. I race out of the store and hop into the next available cab, back over to the Google office. "I can do this." I think to myself. "I am doing this." Back through the lobby, into the elevator and back into the Google office.
Jennifer meets me at the door. "We can make it back inside and no one will ever know." She says. She is my partner in crime. We are a team now. We tip toe into the back of the room just in time for the end of the presentation. People start moving around and the chairs are placed up in front of the audience for the mom's to make their debuts and I walk right up there. Unnoticed. Unsuspected. I have done it. Now, I'm just praying that I don't get sick up in front of these people. That would have completely blown my cover. The mom panel discussion went off without a hitch and I was even able to stay afterward for a meet and greet and then have a quick dinner with MJ. I ended up being sick for the rest of the week.