On the inside, looking out

Does realizing that you are overly emotional and sensitive make it easier to handle the tears that flow when your family sleeps? Does the knowledge that the seasons and lack of sunshine are the root cause of your melancholy allow you to forgive yourself the worry you inflict upon your loved ones?

For me? It does... a bit. I look up and out of this crevice to glimpse the sunshine and warmth that lies beyond its boundaries. My eyes gently closed, I permit the familiar, wintry blankness to briefly envelope me. I imagine what it would mean to truly release myself into such a tempting depression. How satisfying it must be to let go of everything and just GO there...

But the memory of my spiritual freedom is never far from my mind. I have experienced the polar opposite of this hole. The beauty and joy that living in the moment brings is worth the struggle. This I know.

And so I prepare for the climb. Hunkering down for a reserve of energy, I shall pull myself, hand over hand, from the comfort of the dark. The Chicago winter will not win this battle...

An Original Chicago Moms Blog post

Tracey also prays for the sunshine at Just Another Mommy Blog.