Home Alone

As I was watching Eva's ballet class through the tiny viewing window and trying to wrestle Charlie's need for me to pick him up with my back's need to leave heavy squirming children alone, another mom approached me.  "Oh, you have a son," she commented.  "Yes, I usually get to leave him at home," referring to the fact that my mother is often available to watch him on ballet days.  "I have a son too," she said matter-of-factly,  "I left him at home alone and he's eight years old."  "He's eight?" I exclaimed, clearly unable to contain my shock.  The mother replied, "Oh yes, we just live around the corner and it was so much easier to leave him with his video games than to drag him whining all the way here."

Honestly, I didn't know what to make of this situation.  This woman was a mere acquaintance to whom I said "hello" while dropping off Eva for class once a week.  Now she approaches me, and willingly blurts out this incriminating information.  Is she fishing for some kind of assurance from me that it was ok to leave an eight year old home alone?  I wasn't going to give her my blessing.  I didn't know what to say.   I can't even remember what I said; it might have been, "wow."   All I know is, the whole situation has been bothering me.  What was I supposed to do with this information?  Mind my own business?  Call DCFS?  All teachers and Guardian Ad Litems are mandated reporters and I used to be both back in my working days.  Now that I'm neither, I am free to mind my own business.  I have to admit, I'm not comfortable with either choice here. 

Most of us in Illinois know that it is illegal to leave a child alone in an automobile. In fact, there was a controversial case here just a few months ago (in this particular case, the authorities were way overzealous).  Do most parents know when it is ok to leave a child home alone?  I know of a woman who used to leave her infant sleeping at home while she drove her older child half a mile to drop her off at preschool.  Supposedly, she let her neighbor know that her infant was home alone, perhaps in case she saw flames coming from the roof?  Clearly, an infant is not old enough to be left alone.  But what about a responsible ten year old?  What about an irresponsible sixteen year old? 

As for me, I was babysitting three young children late into the night by the age of twelve.  I still can't believe it!  I had taken a babysitting certification class at our library, and even knew CPR.  However, as a mother today, I don't think I would leave my children with twelve year-old me.  I recall that I was a very responsible child, even if I did stuff my face with chips and candy as soon as I put the children to bed.  I also remember that I was quite scared by myself during some of the episodes of Fantasy Island. 

Illinois Legal Aid attempted to respond to the question, "At what age can children be left by themselves?" The answer is, there is no clear answer.  There is an helpful quiz available to determine whether your child is mature enough to be left alone.  I took the quiz, answering questions as they apply to Eva, my six-year-old.  Her score, 70% and the suggestion that I "may" want to review some additional safety rules before leaving her alone.  Interestingly, the quiz never asks the child's age.  Don't worry I won't leave Eva alone for at least four more years, no six, wait -- maybe seven or eight.

This post is original to Chicago Moms Blog.  Sophia Leto (a.k.a. Moody Mommy) has her own blog at www.moodymommy.wordpress.com