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October 18, 2008

Watch Me!

1 Without fail, every time we go to the park Gray finds an older girl to follow around and get to play with him. Mainly he just wants their attention. He climbs to the top of the slide and yells, "Girl! Watch me!" He will repeat this loudly over and over until she notices him. And then that will encourage him even more.

He makes his way over to some bars to hang off. Girl! Girl! And if she won't look his way he'll resort to calling her the color of her clothes. "Hey, Purple! Watch me!"

It's never the same little girl, but it is always a girl and always someone older. I am entertained by his forwardness at expecting a stranger to care so much about him. My heart aches a little at his need for approval, and I pray today the little girl will be his friend and notice him.

And I feel some days that I am like Gray, as I write on my blog, saying "Girl, watch me!" Look what I can do. Look at my life. You don't know me, but read me! And come back tomorrow and read me again!

When I see something on TV that I think is funny or compelling, I want my hubby to watch, too. It's that innate desire for approval. It feels good inside- as much as we don't want to admit it. Laugh at my joke, appreciate something witty I've found! Validate me.

As much as I wouldn't have admitted it before, I am this way. And I am also, sadly, quite guilty of not reciprocating. Not watching enough. Not laughing even if it would make you feel better. What's one glance their way? One laugh, a smile or nod, to just notice? 

I finally heard myself. And I'm hearing you.

I'm watching.

Original Chicago Moms Blog post. Stephanie Precourt also blogs daily at Adventures In Babywearing.


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