Mommies Can Be Anesthesiologists Too

In the four-and-a-half years that I have been a Mommy, I have amassed a decent-sized group of "mommy friends."  When I say "mommy friends," I am referring to the women I've met through my children that I wouldn't necessarily have befriended otherwise.  Most of these friendships were born in toddler classes, music programs, playgrounds, or preschool parking lots.  Were it not for the two little people that I keep company with, I probably wouldn't have forged relationships with many of these women.   But the truth is that I now consider myself fortunate to have friendships with these fellow moms -- which is why I felt like a real idiot during a conversation with some "mommy friends" a few weeks ago.

I was volunteering in the vegetable garden at my daughter's preschool with some other moms (does it get more "mommy" than that?).  While pulling weeds next to two other "mommy friends," one of them mentioned her work as an anesthesiologist.  Like a big fool, I exclaimed, "You are an anesthesiologist?  I had no idea!"  And it really didn't have any idea.  I had known this women for over a year and I had never thought of her as anything other than someone's mom.  Luckily, another friend broke the tension by joking, "Yeah Caitlin, she is an actual doctor.  Remember, you are a lawyer and, I think I still have my Ph.D..  Mommies can be anesthesiologists too, you know."

In another time and place, I would like to think that I would have been able to have interesting adult conversations with these interesting women.  Maybe we would meet at a cocktail party and trade stories about our hectic jobs.  Or perhaps we would run into each other at the new exhibit at the Museum of Contemporary Art and end up chatting about how amazing the food is at Puck's.  Maybe we would share recommendations for the best yoga studios in town.

But now, rather than leading with something like, "So what do you do?" or "Which neighborhood do you guys live in?" My conversations with other mommies tend to open with questions like, "How old are they?" or "How many do you have at home?"

My embarrassing exchange in the preschool garden made me realize the extent to which my role as a Mom has eclipsed the other parts of me (like the part who is an attorney and the other part who loves to go to the opera).  I guess I find it hard to think of myself as anything other than a Mommy sometimes.  And I am not so sure that is a good thing.

This is an original post to the Chicago Moms Blog.

Caitlin writes about being a Mommy (and occasionally other things) at A Hen and Two Chicks.