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July 25, 2008

When Your Only Option is a Thong

3 It was one of those weeks.  Dishes piled high in the sink. Couch cushions skewed all over, with one of them on the floor.  Paperwork in a heap in the corner of the kitchen counter. Somewhere in the middle of the paperwork pile sat three envelopes.  School registrations, I reminded myself.  Gotta get those school registrations sent in.

But first, I needed to jump in the shower and get myself dressed.  The oldest kid had to be at football camp in 40 minutes. It was a 25 minute drive to his school.  I quickly showered and headed off to the closet to grab some clothes. One look into the underwear drawer and I knew I was in trouble.  All I could find were a large pile of bras, a misplaced sock and a bathing suit.  My eyes turned to the laundry basket--it was over flowing. I was clearly out of underwear.

Scrounging through the drawer, I discovered bras that were past their prime. I kept them around for those painting projects that never seemed to materialize.  You know, for those days where you don't want to have a painting accident and mess up the pretty lace bras.

Digging through the underwires, my hand struck paydirt.

A thong.

Yes, a thong.  A tiny scrap of material from my college days. I don't think the hubby even remembered that I had one.  Heck, I didn't even remember that I had one.

Now keep in mind, I was zillions of pounds lighter in my college days. But here's the thing, a thong is very forgiving of the flesh.  Since there's barely anything to cover, anyone of any size can get away with wearing them. Sure enough, I was able to slip the thing on and quickly got dressed.

By the time I dropped the kid off at school, I remembered why the tiny scrap of material went unused. It's like having a permenant wedgie when you're wearing it.

I went home and did laundry. The underwear drawer was quickly filled.

The thong went in the garbage.   

Karen blogs at A Deaf Mom Shares Her World and is a feature writer at Disaboom.  This is an original Chicago Moms Blog post.

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