Where have all the children gone?

We moved to Chicago last spring from a small town in the middle of Michigan. Obviously, there has been some culture shock involved.

Some of it's not so great. Like the cost of housing, for instance. In our old town, $250K would buy you a really nice, updated, 4 bedroom house with a great yard. Here, it'll buy you...well. Let's just say not that. 

But a lot of it has been really great.

For instance, my kids' old school was 100% white kids. Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration; I think there were two Chinese children who had been adopted by a white family. Their new school, on the other hand, is only 25% white. For the first time in their young lives they are not the ethnic majority and I LIKE that.

And of course, there are the myriad cultural offerings here. The other day they went downtown to see

Wicked on a field trip. At their age, I would have died a thousand deaths of happiness to have some of the opportunities they've got here.

I am having a hard time getting used to something, though. Where are all the kids?

I know they exist. We live in a neighborhood with a thriving Orthodox Jewish community, so there are big families everywhere. But I only see them when they're all together going somewhere...I don't ever see kids just, like, playing. In our old town there was a constant stream of kids running from one front yard to another. Here, front yards are almost always empty of people save the occasional hired guy wielding a leaf blower or lawn mower.

My particular block is made up of mostly multi-family housing, so maybe that's part of it. After all, the front yards aren't very large, so most kids probably play in their backyards. And as for the adults, well, I rarely see anyone unless they are leaving their house or returning and then it feels weird to ambush them with a "Hi! Nice to meet you, got some kids who can play with mine?" And to be honest, most people are giving off the vibe that they would very much rather I did not get too friendly beyond the obligatory exchange of pleasantries. So I guess my question is--how am I supposed to get to know these people? AM I supposed to get to know these people? Will there ever come a day when neighborhood kids come over freely without my having to set up a playdate with their parents (which, by the way, I really stink at. I'm one of those "stop by anytime but if you wait for an invitation you may be out of luck" sorts).

I'm sure it really varies by neighborhood, and a big part of it may be the multi-family housing thing. Maybe if we lived on a block with more single-family homes you'd see more people hanging out in their front yards, gardening, etc. We are currently renting, so will be considering other neighborhoods, and I really hope I can find someplace where there is more of a community feel than what I'm currently experiencing on this particular block. On the other hand, I don't particularly want to move to the suburbs. I have lived in a suburban or small-town environment for most of my life and I haven't been here long enough to give up on it yet! We love Evanston, though, and would definitely look there...if we can afford the property taxes!

Veteran Chicagoans, what do you think? Is this a city thing, or a product of my specific block or neighborhood? I'm sure that in the city parents probably don't feel as free to let their kids run about as kids did in my former town. But not even to play in their own front yards? I'm just not used to it. And I feel bad for my boys because I know they want to get to know other kids in the neighborhood, but they have no idea how. And neither do I!

I'd especially love input from other Chicago moms with older kids...especially kids old enough to play independently.

--Meagan blogs here about her life as an author and mother of four sons.