Book Club: The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

Join us today as we discuss The Other Mother  by Gwendolyn Gross.  This is the first time that contributors of Silicon Valley Moms Blog, Chicago Moms Blog, DC Metro Moms Blog and NYC Moms Blog (along with the rest our friends throughout the blogsphere) will be discussing, reviewing and critiquing a book, together.  Please use the comment section below to share your thoughts and feedback.  If you have written a post about this book on your personal site, please make sure to leave that link in the comment section!

********************************************************

Apparently, I don't love my baby enough. I don't think that's what Gwendolyn Gross meant for me to take away from her entertaining novel, The Other Mother, but unfortunately, that's the overwhelming message I got. Maybe it's just me.

The book features two protagonists -- one woman is Thea, a stay at home mother (SAHM) of three kids, and the other is her new neighbor Amanda, a working mom, about to have her first child. The two women make different choices about their parenting / work lives, but they are united in one thing, their rather desperate love of their children, and their tremendous guilt about spending time away from them. And that's the part I didn't get.

Look, it's not that I don't love Kavi. My five-month-old is an adorable little bundle, and now that the worst of the sleep deprivation is finally passing, I do enjoy our time together. She's sweet and snuggly, an easy baby from what others tell me, and her little laughs are some of the best sounds I've ever heard. I miss her when I spend too much time away from her, and I'm always happy to pick her up again when I come home. But that said, I just don't love her the way these women love their kids. Both women, whatever their work choices, seem to feel intense passion for time with their children, constant worry that they're doing things wrong, tremendous guilt whenever they leave their babies with anyone else, all pitched to such a high intensity that it's a constant panic, running under the surface of their conscious thoughts. Gross depicts these characters very believably, so that reading the book, I had no doubt that women like this existed -- that, in fact, all mothers were like this. But at least so far, I'm not.

This is most evident in the matter of childcare (which, of course, lies at the heart of the novel, as the two women struggle with their own choices to either work or be primary childcare for their children). It's not much of a spoiler to mention that early on in the story, Amanda, planning to return to work and unable to find an acceptable nanny for her newborn first child, asks Thea if she'd be willing to watch the baby, and Thea accepts. The women agonize over childcare issues throughout. Amanda rejects one nanny after another as not good enough for her child. Thea goes so far as to repeat her mother's saying, "Why bother having children if you don't want to raise them?" They resent their husbands for not doing more, but both of them share a fundamental assumption that a child's mother can and will provide the absolute best care, twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, and anything else is a poor second. This, I think, is a fundamental difference between their attitude and mine. I just don't believe that.

'Cause here's the thing. I like spending time with my baby, yes. But I like it a lot better if I get breaks. Big breaks. Currently, I have childcare from 9-6 two days a week, and it is lovely. I take a language class T/Th mornings, come home and pump milk at lunchtime, kiss the baby, and then go out to work in a cafe on my next novel. We've had this setup since Kavi was three months old, and if we could afford more childcare right now, we would add it in a heartbeat. Her babysitter, Mya, is a friend of mine with daycare experience, and probably knows quite a bit more about taking care of small children than I do; I feel entirely comfortable leaving Kavi with her for long stretches. On days when Mya doesn't come, sometimes one or another of my friends will come over to give me a break. If they're not used to small children, I'll stay around long enough to coach them through the basics, and the first few times they watch Kavi, I'll stay reasonably close, so I can get home in a few minutes if anything goes wrong.

And yes, sometimes little things do go wrong. Recently, one of my friends bumped Kavi on the head, which freaked him out completely, and I can see how another mother might freak out too. But look -- babies get bumped. Kids get sick, or fall down, or sneak out. Yes, they need adult supervision, but that doesn't mean that adults, mommies or otherwise, can save them from every bump and bruise the world will throw at them. There seems to be an assumption these days in American culture that parents (and especially mothers) must protect their children from absolutely everything, and if we don't, we've failed as parents. So even though yes, my heart skips several beats when Kavi bumps her head and lets out a scream, my head does know, a few minutes later, that she's probably fine, and that in any case, these things will happen, no matter who's taking care of her.

It's not Gross's fault that my reaction on reading her book was to feel like a weird, un-loving mommy. But I do wonder where her characters come from, because they don't seem true to my experience. A few of my friends have small kids now, but most of my experience with child-rearing comes from watching my parents and their friends and family raising children over the last thirty years. And maybe I'm wrong, but I just don't think they stressed about it all the way Gross's characters (and maybe most modern American women?) do. Maybe part of my attitude comes from growing up in that kind of close-knit immigrant community. It was typical at get-togethers that all the adults were communally responsible for all of the kids; that was a base assumption. So that, as a kid, you knew that if you fell down and scraped your knee, you could go to any 'aunty' or 'uncle' at the party who happened to be nearby, and they would wash and bandage it up for you. And as a parent, that meant that you didn't have to be watching your kid every single minute -- everyone else was helping you with the child-watching (whether they were parents themselves or not), and so everyone got to relax a little.

I inherited that mindset, and so I assume that my friends are trustworthy, responsible adults, and that I can leave my baby girl with them and go off to get some work done. I assume that most childcare providers are reasonably competent too, and that while they might not do things exactly as I do, that children are resilient, and Kavi will be just fine. In fact, at heart, I believe she'll be better for having a variety of people caring for her, learning to love her. Maybe someday in the future I'll encounter a truly terrible nanny or daycare, that puts my daughter at serious risk -- but you know, even if I do, I don't think that invalidates my point. I'll still believe that they're the exception, not the rule.

But here's the thing -- even if we stipulate fabulous child-care such that no mother would ever have to worry, I think the two mothers in this book would still feel that they were failing their children by not being there with them every minute of their young lives. And this, I just don't understand. I don't feel that conviction emotionally, I'm not passionate about being with Kavi every moment of the day. In many ways, I feel more like a traditional father than a mother; right now, my ideal would be to be able to go to work about 30-40 hrs/week. I do want to raise my child, but I am happiest raising her part of the time, and letting others have the privilege and joy of sharing the job the rest of the time. That's what feels right to me. But this book (and American culture in general) makes me feel like an unnatural mother.

Am I?

Comments

[Jill Asher]

Gosh, there were so many reasons why I loved this book.

First, it takes place in New Jersey and I grew up in New Jersey. I lived in the suburbs, right out of NYC, and this could have been my home town. Also, I was born at Valley Hospital, and Gwendolyn mentions it, quite a few times.

Now, on to the real reason why I could not put down this page turner. I am not a SAHM nor a full time working mom. I am in the middle - I work part time. SO you see, I don't fit into either camp. The mommy wars may be exist between the SAHM and the Working moms, but I am oblivious to it. Simply put, I don't have the time. But... I do have the GUILT from both sides. When I am on a busy project, I want to be with my kids. And when I am spending "extra" time with the family, I have work in the back of my mind.... can't I just check the email for a few seconds?

So I could TOTALLY relate to both Thea and Amanda.

At some points in the book, I kept yelling (to myself)... JUST TALK TO EACHOTHER! Get your issues out on the table and you will both feel a lot better. At other parts, I wanted to give them each a big hug and tell them that they were doing a great job as a mom. I know, strange to want to do this with a ficticious character.

So I thourougly enjoyed the book - and whatever side of the "mommy war" you fall on, I think you would enjoy this read. It also might give you a great perspective on the "other side".....

Thanks Gwendolyn for sharing your book with our contributors!

[Jordan]

Thanks for your honesty, Mary Anne. I can very much relate to this. I do think there are mothers out there like Thea and Amanda - I've certainly known quite a few - but I am not one of them, either. You are a perfectly natural mother, and so am I. I often feel that the difference lies in some women really needing to be needed by their children (this theme came up a lot in Thea's inner dialogue and Amanda's frustrations with her) - and those feelings of not being perfect enough (and always feeling guilty) stem from a lot of insecurity that started way before motherhood. But for other women it's simply a strong desire they feel; I would not say one is more natural than the other.

I also reviewed this book for Work It, Mom! at: http://www.workitmom.com/article-668

[Linsey]

I'm with you, Jill. I sort of fall in the middle of things, since I work part time so that I can spend of lot of time with my kids and so that I can also have a little "Me" time - in terms of work, not in terms of rest. I guess it is for my ego, really.

Anyway, I completely identified with both Thea and Amanda in the book and was really amazed at how Gwendolen was able to capture both of these characters and their inner dialogues so completely. Having a 17-month-old at home and almost 4 year old twins, I really feel like the newborn baby, baby time is not too far away and I loved sort of reliving those middle of the night, so exhausted, but sweet and tender times via Amanda. And, having had two colicy and/or "strong-willed" kids, Thea's somwhat difficult 2-year-old, Iris, stuck a chord with me.

I am not sure I can relate to you on the capacity to be away from my kids much, Mary Anne. I am just not like that. I am distracted when I am away from my kids and as they get older it is easier to be away from them. But I really, really miss them and don't feel right about leaving them with more than a few select and quite consistent people, at least when they are really little. That being said, I thought it was really interesting (and I'm a little jeakous) of your description, Mary Anne, of your culture growing up with all of the "aunts" and "uncles" who could take care of you. I think that is a really special thing and I sort of wish I had it too. Maybe you will inspire me to branch out a bit!

It was a great read, Gwendolen, and I really recommend it to any mom (or someday mom!). It truly rang true for me in many ways and left me still trying to find my own balance between work and family. And I think the characters, even in the end, were still striving for their own balance. For me, it is is constant reexaminiation.

I'll be looking for your next book - soon?!

[catherine]

Thanks for your thoughts, Mary Ann. It doesn't surprise me at all that you don't relate to the characters and feelings in the book - all of us are different - but it does surprise me that you said "I wonder where her characters come from." I've been a stay at home mom, AND a working mom, AND a nanny in my days, and I have to say - GG hit the nail right on the head. I've never heard someone so insightfully describe the experiences of three sides of the issue. And what's more, she describes the feelings and experiences of nearly everyone I know.

I wonder if you nailed it when you mentioned growing up in an immigrant community. With the deep individualist values in mainstream America, most of us don't have the kind of supportive community you describe - most don't even have a way to imagine it, or believe they could fit their lives into it. They/we see all the many needs of their children as falling into their laps alone...because they do.

It was so valuable for me to see someone insist on seeing from BOTH Thea and Amanda's perspective; to show that each side of the Mommy War Fence has women who want to do their best, who believe they are doing the right thing, who are paying high prices and making deep sacrifices.

Mary Anne, I'd be exciting to read a book that incorporated your perspective as well!

I've written a review and am giving away two copies of the book, so stop by!

http://opinionrated.blogspot.com/

[Mary Anne Mohanraj]

Catherine, if you're interested, you can read more on my take on parenthood in my most recent book, _Bodies in Motion_. It's immigrant fiction, twenty interlinked stories along the lines of Amy Tan's _Joy Luck Club_, and is pretty centered on mothers (and fathers) and daughters (and sons) throughout. It doesn't take on the issues in Gwendolyn's book quite as directly, but it does have quite a bit on parenting in the Sri Lankan-American community. More info here: http://www.mamohanraj.com/bodies.html

I'm loving the rest of these responses, by the way -- it's really interesting, especially hearing how so many of you did identify strongly with the characters in Gwendolyn's book. Fascinating!

[Adventures In Babywearing]

I really enjoyed this book and was eager for the conversation that I was sure it would stir up! As a stay-at-home Mom, I like to keep my kids close. I don't think that I need to be "needed" by them, but more feel like they are "my" responsibility and I WANT to be with them all the time. I made the choice to do what I felt was best for my family and for my life, my soul. This is what truly fulfills me. If I were to work outside the home or be away from my kids longer than a few hours, I am not fulfilled!

We are all individual and unique, and to say that every Mom should form to a certain mold or criteria would be destructive and harmful on our souls. We are all going to feel something different, and I only hope that every Mom gets to live the life that they desire as best for themselves and their family.

My take on the book is posted at my blog Adventures In Babywearing at http://www.adventuresinbabywearing.com/2007/10/other-mother.html

Steph

[Nicole]

Love your write up Mary Anne and I can relate in some ways. I don't really know women like these characters, but I did find it a fun read. Probably just the circles I run in - or the circles I avoid :)

I agree kids can benefit from some variety of childcare, and it just seemed such a waste that the women could not, as Jill said, just talk honestly. My mom talked about babysitting co-ops in our neighborhood, and they seem like such a great and unusual thing now, but really it was just a normal part of a neighborhood. I think we need to acknowledge many different "versions" of motherhood and parenthood are natural and result in happy and healthy kids

See my write-up here
http://notjustaworkingmom.blogspot.com/2007/10/other-mother-our-hidden-thoughts.html

[Karianna]

Like Jill, Linsey, and probably many others out there, I am in-the-middle, so related to both women. I wrote about the "in the middle" feeling here:

http://www.karianna.us/blog/archives/2007/10/in_the_middle_1.html

and then spoke more about how I felt the power/control themes the two women had in common were ultimately stronger than the whole "Mommy Wars" things:

http://www.karianna.us/reviews/2007/10/the_other_mother_1.html

Mary Anne: I think that breaks from our kids ultimately provide healthier relationships with them, so I can support your point of view. And yet, I could relate to the characters in this novel because I've felt those feelings.

Philosophically, I can say "Sure, I'd love lots of breaks!" but practically, I feel conflicted.

When my first son was small, I didn't feel I could trust him to others in part because he didn't behave like other kids. He was eventually diagnosed with pdd-nos, a form of autism. As many people don't understand how to "deal" with this sort of thing, I had to be there for him (Well, and he was kicked out of preschool... then Kindergarten...)

Now that my kids are a little older and they ARE in schools where I love and trust the staff, I think they are better off being "away" from me. They get social interaction with peers and learn from other adults.

My "guilt" (which is really anger, and conflict-avoidance) comes more at this point from beyond the 9-5 realm, such as wanting to attend a Book Club without feeling that I am "imposing" on my husband to babysit his own kids. This "mother is the default parent" theme came up in the book, so I saw it more than I saw a strict SAHM vs. Working Mom situation.

[catherine]

I left a longer comment above, but i had another though I wanted to share - I don't think it comes down to only differences in parents, communities - but also differences in the kids. Some kids are more "needy" (not a bad thing) while others are more independent. You can't ever look at another family and say "I wouldn't do it that way" because not only do you not know the parent and support system, you don't know the needs of the child. I'm doing a lot of things differently than my pre-parent values would have suggested, because of thing entirely out of my control. You just never know what kind of cards you'll be dealt, and I think A GOOD PARENT is one with enough insight and willingness to give that he/she can see what his/her actual child needs in the actual situation - and provide that. Not a parent who fits some sterile mold.

[Mary Anne Mohanraj]

Oh, I definitely can agree that all of these parenting strucutres have to accommodate themselves to the ease of the child. As I said originally, so far Kavi has been an 'easy' baby -- we haven't even had to deal with colic, much less any of the developmental / physical / emotional / etc. issues that might make it harder to find others able to care for her. I have tremendous sympathy for those of you in that position, and wouldn't at all presume to say that I know what's best for your child. I definitely don't!

But that said -- I think even from my ignorant viewpoint (there's still so much I have to learn, as a relatively new mother), I can say that I see flaws in the way modern American cultures view childrearing. There's such tremendous primacy given to mothers' duties and responsibilities, followed maybe by fathers as a distant second? or by grandmothers? And few of us are lucky enough to live near a sibling (my own sisters are on the other side of the country) whom we might trust with our kids. And the culture says that paid childcare is a very poor fourth or fifth choice.

But I was reading an article recently that talked about studies done in Europe, where they have some excellent chidlcare available. And for one thing, they found that actually good childcare was better for the kids (paid more attention to them, ended up with happier, thriving, healthier children) than having the child's grandmother help out. That really startled me! Relatives did do better than bad childcare, unsurprisingly, but the article did make me wonder how things might change for mothers here in the U.S. if we all had access to high-quality and affordable neighborhood childcare, and if we believed, on a deep level, that our children were happy, healthy, safe, and well-nurtured there.

I think especially if you're the mother of a special-needs child, who must make even more demands on your strength, energy, patience, etc., having trustworthy help with parenting must be a high priority. I know if it were me (and it may still be in the future), I would need and want all the (good) help I could get. I'm just not that patient a person.

Oh, and Karianna, absolutely ditto you on the father-parenting front. My Kevin is trying to be good, and do an awful lot of the parenting, but it's still hard for him, for both of us really, not to see it as him doing me a favor when he watches his daughter so I can do something else. Those stupid ingrained attitudes are so hard to shake!!!

[JB/Go-Go Mommy]

Like many of you who have already written, I also feel like I can completely relate to certain aspects of Thea and Amanda. I was a working mom with my first daughter and now, after having our second daughter, I am staying at home with both girls. It has been quite a transition (admittedly, one that I am still working on) - thank goodness for blogging and the wonderful people I've met via the blogosphere!

Now about the "mommy-guilt". My review at Go-Go Mommy is here: http://gogoma.typepad.com/go_go_mommy/gogo_reviews/index.html

For me, the Gwendolen's beautifully written prose brought to mind that everyone lives with some form of regret; some thing we wish we were doing instead, some person we want to treat differently, etc. For me, the big battle may be the battle of time and how we make our choices based on the limited amount of time in our day, week, lifetime.

Of course, the thread of parenting is very strong too. I agree with Catherine, clearly what approach may work for one parent may not work for the next. It is also nice to be reminded that perspectives may be changed with better communication.

[Chicago Chick]

I think a lot of my thoughts have already been voiced in the previous comments. I am a "Working Mom" but my situation is completely different. As the bread winner, my husband is the SAHD, and that puts us in a different category in the Mommy Wars. I really enjoyed the book and thought it was Well written even though I couldn't relate 100% to Amanda.

Whichever decision one makes - to return to work or to stay at home - there are regrets (or wondering what might have been) but this is the case with almost ALL decisions we make. To read my review, go to http://www.chgochick.com/2007/10/the-other-mothe.html

[Jennifer, Snapshot]

Loved your thoughts here! I am also a fairly laid back mommy. I interviewed Gwendolyn Gross on my site:

http://jennifersnapshot.blogspot.com/2007/08/interview-with-gwendolen-gross-author.html

and my regular review was published here:

http://www.5minutesformom.com/2207/5-minutes-for-books-the-other-mother/

[Shannon]

I have so much to say!

First, RE: guilt, I completely get it. I have ONE child, he is an INFANT, and I only work part-time, and yet all day long it is guilt, guilt, guilt. Am I playing with him enough? Am I playing with him too much, such that he won't become independent? Am I a bad person because I use disposable diapers and store-bought baby food?

Second, RE: the childcare study that Mary Anne referenced, I can totally see (sniff, sniff) how my kid can be better off at the babysitter's. She is a mother of 6, former RN, running a daycare (with crafts, songs, lessons, stories) for over 20 years. I spend half the day transferring my kid among various baby containment devices (Pack 'n Play, Exersaucer) so I can do chores, or schlepping him back and forth on errands.

Now, onto the actual book. There was a lot I could relate to in this book (and a lot of stuff that seemed weird and unnecessary). Others have covered a lot of it, but one thing that screamed out at me was how both mothers in the book lamented the fact that their husbands never had to fully give up their lives when they had kids. The husbands could feel free to go to work, read the paper, and get sick without worrying how these activities affected their children. I think almost all of us can relate to that.

[Gwendolen Gross]

Hello all! First of all, I'm honored to have so many smart women thinking about THE OTHER MOTHER--it's all an author can ask for (okay, besides enough sales to allow her to keep writing books)--thoughtful readers. Having so many of you relate to the characters and circumstances is gratifying and wonderful.

The reason I chose to write fiction about this topic (aside from the fact that I'm in love with fiction as both a reader and a writer) is that I thought a novel with two first-person narrators could accomplish something non-fiction couldn't: these women are particular women, imbued with the real dramas and emotions I felt or heard about from friends, but with their own particular lives and details, and also, hopefully, a plot that keeps readers turning pages (I know I appreciate this as a reader as well). But what I hoped for most is that readers would find themselves empathizing (or sympathizing) with one, and then the other. What I wanted was to stand in shoes at each side of the fence, in hopes of illustrating how we judge each other unneccesarily, in hopes of understanding, myself, how important it is to respect other people's methods and choices even if they don't match my own.
I love Mary Anne's introductory post because she's speaking about her own experience--and it's different from mine, and perhaps from many American women's. I DO think it's a cultural issue; I also think there are cultural issues of geography within the US as well as other places--culture, customs, religion, economics (and of course, I realize these are women who have a choice, and married women, not single parents, not moms who work because they have to for financial reasons--they are who they are in particular, even if there are different or exacerbated issues for mothers in different circumstances) all these things impact how we parent. In a way, the characters are very limited--but in a way, I hope they have at least some of the same feelings and concerns (and guilt--which, perhaps aside from Mary Anne's experience--I've found to be universal among moms, and most often, not constructive at all...) as other mothers. As readers. I hope this is just the beginning of the conversation!!
Thanks again; I'm really honored.
Gwendolen

[Mary Anne Mohanraj]

Heh. I should note that I do in fact feel plenty of mommy-guilt sometimes, but it's just not centered on leaving her with other people.

My mommy-guilt is more about not being nurturing enough when I'm with her -- not reading to her every minute, or actively playing with her, etc. Like what Shannon said about transferring the baby from one device to the other; I feel bad that I do so much of that, in order to get dishes and e-mail and laundry and etc. done! Whereas when my friend Mya babysits, she spends most of the day actually playing with the baby! Sigh...

[vickie]

Sorry for chiming in late; it's been one thing and another around here.

Plus I read this ages ago and I still haven't published my thoughts on my bookblog, so I feel like I shouldn't be here!!

But I loved this book--it is a wonderful gift for the newly-pregnant who like to read; it has such real insight into what having a child means.

What struck me about this book is its reflection of what I perceive to be almost instinctive among us modern people: we're busy either judging each other or striving to be above judgment.

I know, I know. That sounds horribly naive. (And without the judgment, we'd lose all the fun of the "Mommy Wars", right?)

But it seems to me that if we spent less time "noticing the mote in the other mother's eye" we'd have a society where women really are a sisterhood. That whatever a woman's choices, she will find support and solace in other women, even if she's making different choices from them.

I've been fortunate in my post-natal friendships. They don't seem to judge me for being a stay at home mom (though it's not like I have a choice about it...or rather I do, but it's too complicated and expensive to become a working mom). And none of us seem to judge the others for choosing to work the hours they do.

And that was something else that struck me about Thea & Amanda--how motherhood had virtually robbed them of friendship. How their friends from their pre-baby lives, if they had any, no matter how loved or cherished still, couldn't fully be their friends in the post-baby world. How lonely motherhood is, whether you work outside the home or not. How hard it is to find real friends among other mothers.

Gwendolen's novel struck so many chords in me because I feel like Amanda & Thea's worlds reflect so much of what is difficult about becoming a parent in America.

[Leslie Morgan Steiner]

Loved this book too! Reminded me a lot of the essays in my book Mommy Wars.

For more stories about real moms juggling work and family, come to www.washingtonpost.com/onbalance.

[Gwendolen Gross]

Thanks for your lovely take, Vickie! You're absolutely right about the women being robbed of friendship--one question I ask at events is whether or not people believe Amanda and Thea could ever really be friends. Of course, the intensity of Amanda's perspective will change as her baby gets older, and there's less sense of urgency (one hope), but then, she's going to have another...
Leslie, thanks for chiming in! Full disclosure here: The Other Mother was titled The Mommy Wars (for all 7 years I worked on it!) until it was sold, and shortly after, Random House was (also) publishing Leslie's collection, so we changed the title!
Leslie was kind enough to invite me as a guest at her blog--I've been an addicted reader ever since.
One final note, Vickie--I tend to be an optimist. I harbor hope that people like Amanda and Thea COULD change and be friends. But they'd have to change--change the way they judge other mothers. I know I did when I was writing this book--I realized how hard all the choices are, daily. I realized how different things are in different families, and that not everyone is going to choose the same things, even if I happen to think they're the best things. That I can respect people for loving and caring for their children in the best way they can (aside from outright abuse, of course!)
Gwendolen

[Robin]

Wow. Wow again.

Anything else I'd like to say would simply take up too much room.

I've written my thoughts up at my blog http://wwwmylifeasitis.blogspot.com/

This one is a must-read!!!

[Devra Renner]

I am one of the contributors at sister site DC Metro Moms Blog, but I also have a goal to alleviate mommy guilt wherever and whenever I possibly can. While Gwendolyn's book is a fictionalized account of two moms, in reading the comments it is clear her work is bringing up very real emotions for many of you.

Not trying to spam anyone or hawk my book as it is available in most public and university libraries and you can read a lot of it if you do the "search inside this book" on Amazon or B&N.

Aviva and I are available via our website Parentopia.com if anyone needs help and is struggling with mommy guilt. We want to wave our wand of absolution for you, give you comfort, reassurance and most importantly get that guilt-o-meter reduced!Mommy Guilt is a normal emotion of motherhood, debilitating mommy guilt isn't we hope you will feel okay about hunting us down if you need us or know someone who does.

[Shoshi Mabina]

CHRISTMAS GIFTS FOR THE LADIES!

Do your shopping at this great, comfort boutique.

Apple the Second
745 W. Howard. St.
Evanston, IL 60202
847-424-0786

www.applethesecond.com

[Sarah]

You should really check out the new mom book, "The Book of Mom" by award winning author Taylor Wilshire. Not only is it a funny fast-paced novel about a mother who crashes and burns, loses her sense of self and how she get's it back but offers motivating solutions to motherhood It has self-help tools, parenting tips, and marriage counceling that will inspire the modern mom.