50-something Moms Blog

Which School--College Edition

A wise mom once told me, "I'd rather be the poorest family in a good school than the richest one in our neighborhood school."

I doubt if she was the poorest mom in the school, but you get her point. I did too, and my husband and I planned our sons' public school education according to it. They have never attended our neighborhood schools.

In our district, students can apply for transfers to any school that has an opening. The transfer applications are always accepted in February, and people camp out in the freezing cold to get their kids into a better school. We've waited in line for a transfer exactly four times, and we've gotten one every time. We'll probably wait in line at least once more, when the younger one is about to go to high school.

But the older one is getting close to college now, and I know we won't use the "poor family, good school" maxim for higher education. For one thing, our son will be 18--his own guardian, an adult. He will make

Out With the Old Labels

Why can't everyone be as vivid and perceptive when describing certain women of a certain age as the lovely and hilarious Mindy Kaling? She came up with this gem on her blog:

[The comb is] Good for: Tots. Peter Pan. Old dames with thin hair with a sense of humor.

It's the sort of description that would have made me think, twenty years ago, Yeah, that's what I'll be like when I get old.

Old dame, sense of humor--who wouldn't aspire to that delectable combo?

But the thing I love the most about this description is that it is, at the same time, very matter-of-fact and quite keen. She has taken note of the fact that women retain distinguishing characteristics after menopause--without acting surprised about it.

I have to tell you that the day I read this, one of my students had said to me, "I don't give a sh*t, old lady" at one of my attempts at classroom management.

And one of my colleagues had referred to my co-teacher as "the young teacher in your classroom." Why not the "other teacher"? Or, if labels are necessary, the "teacher with curly hair and cute dimples"? Here's an idea--learn her name so you don't have to insult either one of us!

I'm tired of the lousy, uncreative labels I hear everyday. Thank you Mindy Kaling for doing what writers are supposed to do--observing closely and using words carefully to make a phrase fresh and true.

Original 50-something Moms Blog Post

Injury vs. Career

This is my right thigh after one of my students rammed me with a grocery cart. I've recounted the incident ad nauseum, to assorted administrators, teachers and caseworkers. The deputy from the sheriff's department who works at our school came by the classroom yesterday to ask me about it. Suffice it to say that the student is emotionally disturbed, and she won't be going on field trips with the rest of the class for awhile.

When I graduated from college in the early 80s, my first job was as a mental health worker with head injured patients. I never felt fear, even though patients with poor impulse control and few anger management skills routinely took swings at me, lunged for me and chased me. I had the feeling of

Six Surprises for My Pookie On His Birthday

My husband's birthday is March 8. (Let's hope he doesn't read this post before then.)

It wouldn't be a birthday around here without a gag gift. I found the perfect one to make--he's middle-aged, but he'll never outgrow his affection for Star Wars schlock.

Then there are the rest. Maybe I was influenced by the minister in Florida who issued a challenge to all married couples to have sex every day during the month of March (and for all singles to abstain), but it seems like my other gifts are kinda sexy:

- A public declaration of love, on the Vegas strip no less.

- An instant message from his crush. While my husband is at the computer
next Saturday, I'm going to IM him, saying "I am Catherine Deneuve, and I
think you are très chaud."

- An erotic card. You probably don't need me to tell you about these
sites, but you get a heaping helping of naughtiness when you google
"free erotic ecard."

- To go with the above, me, in Wonder Woman undies

Finally, I'll send him a link to our song. Because sometimes married love IS bittersweet and strange.

Original 50-something Moms Blog post